I don't want

I don't want a big party with all my friends and family.
I have very few friends and I have to endure most of my family, there are very few that I actually enjoy.
I don't want to go to Europe for my wedding trip, I'd very much rather spend it with my husband at some beach, or even just at some hotel within the city, merely enjoying his presence and his company.
I don't want to spend all my savings in one year.
I don't want to go through the ordeal and dangers of travelling during the night just to wake up at the beach.
I would very much rather spend all that money on building up a house, making it a home, and just getting married with a few friends and maybe even family in Las Vegas. Spending marvelous days at the hotels, watching the shows, looking at marvelous things, having spent a third of the price and half of my energy.
I'm not saying I wouldn't love to eventually make that trip to Europe, but I insist that I'd rather do it once we weren't quite as spent, economically wise.
I don't know. I guess it's just too much and I don't want to deal with it.
I don't see myself delivering the invitations door to door. Not to my family, much less to strangers. I guess I just don't want to deal with all the hassle involved... It's a good thing I'm not dealing with it now. I don't how I will ever be able to cope with it at all.

Miss. Contradiction

I used to think that English was too soft a language. There weren't as many words in it as in Spanish, thus you couldn't communicate your ideas quite as easily as with so many other languages. Then I read a bit more and realized that there is quite a broad vocabulary, but most people don't move on from the basic ten thousand words when there are over 250,000 to choose from.
We were watching the TV a while ago, Pride and Prejudice was on. I'd seen it already. But I was still quite moved. What I love about Austen is the fact that, even though she is quite the lady, and she is always so proper, when you get to know her you know that there is a hint of sarcasm underneath every word that is uttered by one of her characters. It is just gossip, but... Isn't everyday life about that as well? At least then they weren't such hypocrites about it.
Many times I wished to just be taken under the cover of my parents so I could educate myself. What would be better than having all the time to yourself with the sole purpose of learning how to play an instrument? Or reading? Or knitting, stitching, cooking, dancing, singing, writing? Wouldn't that just be amazing??? I think it would. You wouldn't have to worry about anything. You would just wait until an amazing man came along your path and then you could marry him, and you would dedicate your entire life to the man you love. It's quite the fairy tale...
But then you come back to the ground, to real life, and I realize that I would entirely hate depending on someone else's money. You would never be truly independent. You could never say, "This is mine, I acquired it by my own means." It would be like all those women that marry rich men, divorce them and then wind up getting half of what their spouses had acquired over a life time of hard work. Or maybe it was inherited, but even so, why should THEY be the ones getting it when they didn't work for it? They are not entitled to it because they're not relatives either.
So, what do I want? The perfect combination of both, but that's just not likely to happen. It's not likely that I find the right balance for it, nor that I find that enchanted man, riding the horse and wearing an armor. Urgh. I've never sought that. I want the gentleman that lightly steps off the hearse, wears shoes with 5 centimeter heels, wears tights, and a coat that reaches the back of his knees but doesn't quite manage to cover all of his chest.
I live in the 1800s and every other girl with some sense in her wishes she did too.