THE CALLING
WHEREVER YOU WILL GO
So lately, I've been wonderin'
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall
and fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall
and fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart
and your mind
I'll stay with
you for all of time
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
sábado, 29 de agosto de 2009
miércoles, 26 de agosto de 2009
Englishwoman
There was a time when my first destination in the world, had I had the chance to go anywhere, was London, England.
Today I realized that the best movies I've ever seen are English, and my favourite authors actually are British. I couldn't live without Wilde's fairytales and Austen's common sense. When we watched The Queen at home, I absolutely fell in love with Tony Blair. Not the actor, probably not the man himself, but the whole idea of a Prime Minister; the idea of being The Wife of the Prime Minister of Parliament in England was even more appealing to me than marrying a rock star. It's not sexy, at least not to me, but it's just... Peaceful. The peaceful idea of being respected, the status... And not giving a damn about it. Just caring about your husband. I think holding him in my arms after a hard-day's work is the only nice thing about marriage.
I love the way the English people are... I don't know many, only two or three handfuls, but I like them all anyway. At least at my age, before all women (whether married or not) become spinsters.
Colin Firth, Alan Rickman (even though he's not actually English), Hugh Grant, who DOESN'T ABSOLUTELY love them?
I love the culture, I love some of the accents... But please, don't take me as one of those retards that melt for a certain accent. What kind of crap is that? "I love the British accent!" There are over a dozen English accents, it's retarded to say "the," and it's even more stupid to make a fuss about someone because of their accent. An accent only tells you where they are from, but that doesn't guarantee that he's not going to be a jerk, just like all the other pigs in the world.
Some English accents are really nice, smooth. American accents are just too annoying for me. I don't like "the Australian" or "the Sout-African" one either. A neutral accent would technically be much more interesting, because it tells you that, more than likely, this bloke speaks more than just one language.
I love the idea of having cloudy skies most of the year. I love cloudy skies, lightning and that warm feeling that you get inside whenever it rains. It's not melancholy, it's the feeling that something exciting might happen in the rain. A kiss, an adventure, saving someone... Who doesn't love walking out in the rain? I have never had the chance to walk in the rain until I become soaked all the way from my head to my feet. I've been pretty damn close, though.
Driving on the left side of the car would be interesting, I like variety in my life.
I drink milk with my tea, I haven't ever tried lemmon in it... But I HAVE tried lemmon tea and quite a broad amount of different sorts of teas. I think I drink as much tea as I drink coffee. I don't have a "tea time"... I usually always drink it between 6 and 7pm.
I am an old-styled person. I still think that men should be polite to women and that women should respect men. But there is this thing about the Spanish, the French, the German and the English cultures that is really interesting: They know that women are equal to men, so there is no need to keep on proving it or keep on reminding them about it. I'm talking about society in general. Walk into a Church in any of these countries and say, "I'm pro-choice" and I assure you that they won't think of "pro-life" in that moment. They'll impale you. All hail the Dark Ages!
Their passports are quite nice as well, at least the coat-of-arms is. I must say, the colour of our passport is much nicer. I prefer my dark green to their light red.
I love the idea of having to remove the snow from the entrance... Imagine all that snow, and looking at it and saying, "Not again!" Instead of, "It's a miracle!" Five freaking centimeters of snow is just pitiful.
Please someone take me to England... I want to have a flat there, with huge windows and, why the crap not? A gas stove, so that it takes AGES to get the water ready. A bathtub, a rug, a HUGE, beautiful rug in the living room. And a thousand heavy blankets. After a year or two I hope to have lost all the words that I acquired during those two years in the US.
You know what would be even better? I just realized, that regardless of where I stood, it would be so easy and fast to get to London and go to a decent concert. English music is the best... Rolling Stones, Robbie Williams, and I must admit: I love Dido. The Von Bondies, Oasis... I don't know much. It just doesn't reach us over here.
Are there many discotheques with electronic music? I love electronic music, I just wish I could listen to something more than just NIKO and Cascada...
That's all I have to say for now. I'll keep on dreaming of getting there somehow, sometime, somewhere... Why the hell not? With someone.
Cheers.
Today I realized that the best movies I've ever seen are English, and my favourite authors actually are British. I couldn't live without Wilde's fairytales and Austen's common sense. When we watched The Queen at home, I absolutely fell in love with Tony Blair. Not the actor, probably not the man himself, but the whole idea of a Prime Minister; the idea of being The Wife of the Prime Minister of Parliament in England was even more appealing to me than marrying a rock star. It's not sexy, at least not to me, but it's just... Peaceful. The peaceful idea of being respected, the status... And not giving a damn about it. Just caring about your husband. I think holding him in my arms after a hard-day's work is the only nice thing about marriage.
I love the way the English people are... I don't know many, only two or three handfuls, but I like them all anyway. At least at my age, before all women (whether married or not) become spinsters.
Colin Firth, Alan Rickman (even though he's not actually English), Hugh Grant, who DOESN'T ABSOLUTELY love them?
I love the culture, I love some of the accents... But please, don't take me as one of those retards that melt for a certain accent. What kind of crap is that? "I love the British accent!" There are over a dozen English accents, it's retarded to say "the," and it's even more stupid to make a fuss about someone because of their accent. An accent only tells you where they are from, but that doesn't guarantee that he's not going to be a jerk, just like all the other pigs in the world.
Some English accents are really nice, smooth. American accents are just too annoying for me. I don't like "the Australian" or "the Sout-African" one either. A neutral accent would technically be much more interesting, because it tells you that, more than likely, this bloke speaks more than just one language.
I love the idea of having cloudy skies most of the year. I love cloudy skies, lightning and that warm feeling that you get inside whenever it rains. It's not melancholy, it's the feeling that something exciting might happen in the rain. A kiss, an adventure, saving someone... Who doesn't love walking out in the rain? I have never had the chance to walk in the rain until I become soaked all the way from my head to my feet. I've been pretty damn close, though.
Driving on the left side of the car would be interesting, I like variety in my life.
I drink milk with my tea, I haven't ever tried lemmon in it... But I HAVE tried lemmon tea and quite a broad amount of different sorts of teas. I think I drink as much tea as I drink coffee. I don't have a "tea time"... I usually always drink it between 6 and 7pm.
I am an old-styled person. I still think that men should be polite to women and that women should respect men. But there is this thing about the Spanish, the French, the German and the English cultures that is really interesting: They know that women are equal to men, so there is no need to keep on proving it or keep on reminding them about it. I'm talking about society in general. Walk into a Church in any of these countries and say, "I'm pro-choice" and I assure you that they won't think of "pro-life" in that moment. They'll impale you. All hail the Dark Ages!
Their passports are quite nice as well, at least the coat-of-arms is. I must say, the colour of our passport is much nicer. I prefer my dark green to their light red.
I love the idea of having to remove the snow from the entrance... Imagine all that snow, and looking at it and saying, "Not again!" Instead of, "It's a miracle!" Five freaking centimeters of snow is just pitiful.
Please someone take me to England... I want to have a flat there, with huge windows and, why the crap not? A gas stove, so that it takes AGES to get the water ready. A bathtub, a rug, a HUGE, beautiful rug in the living room. And a thousand heavy blankets. After a year or two I hope to have lost all the words that I acquired during those two years in the US.
You know what would be even better? I just realized, that regardless of where I stood, it would be so easy and fast to get to London and go to a decent concert. English music is the best... Rolling Stones, Robbie Williams, and I must admit: I love Dido. The Von Bondies, Oasis... I don't know much. It just doesn't reach us over here.
Are there many discotheques with electronic music? I love electronic music, I just wish I could listen to something more than just NIKO and Cascada...
That's all I have to say for now. I'll keep on dreaming of getting there somehow, sometime, somewhere... Why the hell not? With someone.
Cheers.
domingo, 23 de agosto de 2009
New Old Friends
All of a sudden, miles away from the people I used to consider only classmates, I now realize that some of them were truly my friends.
Had I been able to pull myself out of the hole I willingly jumped into, I could have had so much more fun... I could have been able to truly bond with them.
I remember those days and I remember feeling that they were unimportant, scarcely as real as my "real" friends were to me.
It's a bit too late to say, Hey, I should walk out this door and join them, and truly be there with them. Not be a simple shade. A ghost of a friend.
There were very few moments when I was truly involved with them.
And there were truly very few moments when I was myself.
I kept on being quiet, or behaved like a retard, because I believed that was the best way to go with them.
I could never have said or done the things I actually have carried out here.
They were much more conservative, but I think we would have had more fun.
I still miss the people from the previous place LIKE CRAZY.
I don't think I'll ever have as much fun with anyone else as I had with them... And I do believe it's a cultural thing.
I don't think people here could take all the things I say without blushing or thinking of me as a slut.
I can't even say most of the things I believe in to my best friend...
I can talk about absolutely anything with my brother, but he and I are different from the rest for obvious reasons... We're siblings. We're meant to either think alike or be on opposite poles. We luckily enough happen to think alike.
Lately I've been thinking a great deal about Brittany.
I miss her so much... We could have done so many things together. We used to talk like crazy whenever we were in her car, and she drove me from place to place, and we watched some movies... Back then when I was granted almost everything I asked for because I didn't ask for much.
Nowadays I wish I could be out of the house almost on a daily basis... Weekly would be enough... But now it seems like monthly is too much for those who grant my permissions. It sucks. But I keep on thinking it won't be long. They haven't accepted the idea that I'll be leaving as soon as I can, so whenever it actually happens I don't think they'll even know what hit them.
I can't wait.
But I also wish I could see my friends again. All of them. I don't wish to turn back time, because then I wouldn't have learned much.
It's now, when I don't have them, that I would love to have a second chance to really know them, and to let them truly know me. I don't want to change what happened in the past. That would be retarded and useless. I want a second turn.
I hope I get a chance to see them again... Although, I must admit, I never want to go back to that place. I wish I would never have to set foot on that land again... But I know it's impossible. Perhaps if we met half-way somewhere... That would be perfect. But perfect things are hard to achieve.
I must go now.
My stomach is starting to growl and soon enough I'll be crawling in search of food. I still have to put some decent clohtes on... The drag of living in a house full of people.
Thanks for reading.
Had I been able to pull myself out of the hole I willingly jumped into, I could have had so much more fun... I could have been able to truly bond with them.
I remember those days and I remember feeling that they were unimportant, scarcely as real as my "real" friends were to me.
It's a bit too late to say, Hey, I should walk out this door and join them, and truly be there with them. Not be a simple shade. A ghost of a friend.
There were very few moments when I was truly involved with them.
And there were truly very few moments when I was myself.
I kept on being quiet, or behaved like a retard, because I believed that was the best way to go with them.
I could never have said or done the things I actually have carried out here.
They were much more conservative, but I think we would have had more fun.
I still miss the people from the previous place LIKE CRAZY.
I don't think I'll ever have as much fun with anyone else as I had with them... And I do believe it's a cultural thing.
I don't think people here could take all the things I say without blushing or thinking of me as a slut.
I can't even say most of the things I believe in to my best friend...
I can talk about absolutely anything with my brother, but he and I are different from the rest for obvious reasons... We're siblings. We're meant to either think alike or be on opposite poles. We luckily enough happen to think alike.
Lately I've been thinking a great deal about Brittany.
I miss her so much... We could have done so many things together. We used to talk like crazy whenever we were in her car, and she drove me from place to place, and we watched some movies... Back then when I was granted almost everything I asked for because I didn't ask for much.
Nowadays I wish I could be out of the house almost on a daily basis... Weekly would be enough... But now it seems like monthly is too much for those who grant my permissions. It sucks. But I keep on thinking it won't be long. They haven't accepted the idea that I'll be leaving as soon as I can, so whenever it actually happens I don't think they'll even know what hit them.
I can't wait.
But I also wish I could see my friends again. All of them. I don't wish to turn back time, because then I wouldn't have learned much.
It's now, when I don't have them, that I would love to have a second chance to really know them, and to let them truly know me. I don't want to change what happened in the past. That would be retarded and useless. I want a second turn.
I hope I get a chance to see them again... Although, I must admit, I never want to go back to that place. I wish I would never have to set foot on that land again... But I know it's impossible. Perhaps if we met half-way somewhere... That would be perfect. But perfect things are hard to achieve.
I must go now.
My stomach is starting to growl and soon enough I'll be crawling in search of food. I still have to put some decent clohtes on... The drag of living in a house full of people.
Thanks for reading.
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